Joel Quotes

"You can only start a boy band if you kill one of the other ones already out there."

Joel: "This song is about quitting school, quitting work, quitting everything and starting a band. A punk rock band, a ska band, any kind of band. But what do you gotta do if you wanna start a boyband?"

Croud: "You gotta kill one of the ones already out there!"

Joel: "That's right, because you gotta get in the rotation."

Canadian Radio DJ: "Do you know who the prime minister of Canada is?"

Joel: "Boris Yeltsin!"

"I'm kinda disappointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was."

Girl: Joel! Take your shirt off!
Joel: You take off yours!

Some girl asks Joel: "Where are you playing tomorrow?"

Another girl: "Birch Hill" (She yells it really loud and fast.)

Joel: "Damn Girl."

Fan: Dude, your brother's an ass.
Joel: Hey, if you're going to diss my brother then I'm out of here... [leaves]

"This song is for the girls in [insert town here], because they mess with your head."

"Good Charlotte is anger management teen angst."

"This one's for all you emo and skater kids, we know your sensitive" ( Describing Motivation Procolomation.)

"My last name is sex. S-E-X."

"It's by ourself and it's titled by us."

"Weve been together since the womb. We met in the womb." (Joel to Benji.)

"Let me put on my leather pants and open my shirt."

"Hold your head up, it'll get better."

"He put Bengay on my nuts!"

"I got all the heys." (Said Before Benji Says "I got all the hoes.")

"I'd have sex with Britney and just makeout with Christina cause she'd have drama the next day."

"I played baseball, I was actually pretty good, the coach didn't think so, but I was."

"If I were in that pit, I'd be making out with everyone one of you!"

"So I wanna see all of you making out during this song."

"For all those people who thought they were having cybersex with Benji online they were wrong, it's not Benji you're having cyber sex with"

(Benji has a huge grin on his face to say that he actually was having cyber with people online.)

"Music is supposed to be an escape. It's supposed to be somewhere you go, where you can be yourself, or be whatever you want to be."

"We love you all..."

"Yes, I am pimpin' this coat, thank you very much..."

(When asked how touring has changed their lives) "I think you could say that we know more about the world, and we are now experts on the care and feeding of stinky, smelly socks."

"Look what you did, you just made me say badass Buffalo five times."

"It was the same thing, we stood in a room and picked! 'We want that guy!'"

(Singing Seasons) "Walking all along the...grass, ya told me...ah y'all

I forgot the words..."

"Anywhere on your leg is near the bone and that shit hurts."

"Yeah, I hurt my finger, does anyone have a Band-Aid?"

"Instead of going out and shooting people, why don't you go start a band."

"We're definitely not jaded. We never really considered ourselves serious musicians who are changing music. We're just kids who wanted to be in a band."

"People think that I'm a really outgoing person because of how I am on stage. But I'm not. I'm really shy."

"You were the one who gave me those boxers? I wondered where they came from, I wear those! Although I'm not a big fan of flannel, it gets a little hot down there, if you know what I mean..."

"Okay, now who stole my wallet?"

"Damn girl, you don't have to pinch so hard, turn around, now it's your turn!"

"I don't want to see anyone leaving single tonight. I want everyone to leave impregnated."

"It's got to be hard to be a punk in colorado. There's no air."

"Biotch... It's G to tha mutha fuckin C!"

"He's like a little brother to us all. We like to pick on him, all of us you know." (about Billy)

"Yeah and your teeth are clenched together and you're like, 'It's cool, man. I'm fine.'" - Joel (on getting painful tatoos)

"I love all women!"

"Ohhh, the scalp massage. It's good. It's a good five minutes on the crown area. It's great."

"I got kicked out of class so much and it wasn't fair because I was just talking. In class, if there was a pretty girl, I would just try to talk [to her] all the time. I like to talk, especially to girls. And I got kicked out of class all the time. The teacher would be like 'All right, stop,' and I'd be like 'Okay,' and keep talking. Then I'd try to impress her and it wouldn't really work. I'd get kicked out for trying to be funny, like they'd call me up to read and I'd read the wrong thing. I didn't take high school very seriously."

"Benji's the evil twin."

"We're just like Ying and Yang, me and him, like night and day sometimes." (About Benji)

"This is a really intimate gathering... (pause, something flys up on stage) ...So intimate in fact, that someone just threw their bra up on stage!"

"I gotta go brush my teeth!"

"We got Paul over here sportin' the Ravens. And we got Billy over here rockin' 'Nightmare Before Christmas.' "

"That's because there is no beer or ladies waiting!"

"The shit really hit the fan!"

"We really brought down the house tonight!"

"I'm feeling this crowd so much, I think I'm going to stand in it."

"How erotic.

"We represent Waldorf... Well, I know Charlotte Hall... Trinity Church Road... Yeah we love Waldorf..."

"Paul is twenty-one. He's growing up."

"A girl bit me once, she walked up and bit me! And for the record, I hated it. And one girl licked me."

"We're a hair band now."

"Benji had definitely been called a freak. I mean, I've been called a freak, too, but he's definitely more freaker than I am."

"Go back to the circus, FREAK!!"

"Benji thinks fate will one day bring him and Britney Spears together... He seriously does!"

"Let me finish singing this song about how poor I was, and then I'll get back to you!"

"I was in Menudo."

"In 10th grade, I kissed your girlfriend. But don't worry, I didn't like it. She used too much tongue."

"Now you have something for all your hamsters to play with!" - Joel (in response to the stuffed hamster I gave Billy)

"That's 'skater' with an '8' and 'boy' with an 'I'! Like Totally!"

"They think I'm funny, Mom!"

"Is that you, Santa?"

"I dated an Amish girl once. Esther, if you're out there...I love you."

"Hold up, we were just singing this song about how poor we were when his cell phone rings!"

"We are saying some deep things, but we still wanna keep 'em to where you don't get depressed."

"Benji sucks!"

"Every other guy I know had his first kiss when he was twelve."

"This is a little awkward, isn't it?"

"We vandalize things!"

"Hey, these gloves were two dollars!"

"And then there was this, there was this one time that we ran around and knocked on everyone's door then ran..."

"I didn't get lessons of any kind, I slept through school."

"You know, this is a good opportunity to make out with a security guard. They're not all assholes, they're actually pretty nice."

"I wanna make out with every single person in this room... You..and you...and you over there..."

"15-year-olds singing about asses. Doesn't get any better than that."

"You can call him Benjamin... That's what Mama calls him."

"Waldorf is a helluva town!"

"Thank you, Blanket." - Joel (on Ian from NFG)

"We have to eat at truck stops almost every night...one time, we got food poisoning and couldn't eat for a week!"

"Between me and my brother, I've definitely got the better music taste....I listen to the classics like Sinatra....Benji's a fan of street punk. I can't even tell what they're saying."

"You get really used to living out of the bag and to meeting new people everyday and being in new situations, new surroundings everyday...we're so lucky to be able to do this and be on the road and play everyday and meet new people."

"Although I hate to admit it, the first album I bought was Paula Abdul's "Forever Your Girl" when I was in fifth grade because I had a crush on her. "

"We're really honest with each other and we talk a lot about things. We all fight about small things sometimes but nothing major. We love touring together. I wouldn't change it at all, I like the way things are."

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