Person:
"Can I have a hug?"
Paul: "Only If I can hug you."
Paul:
"Here ya go." *Hands a signed picture*
Person:
"Spank you."
Paul:
"SPANK WHAT?"
Person:
"Do you know that you're in the best band in the world?"
Paul:
*Nods* "I know."
Paul:
"St. Paul is not gay!! He's very, very straight."
Aaron:
"Ok, buddy, whatever you want to believe."
Paul:
"You're really starting to hurt my feelings."
Paul:
"Do you know whos dog this is?"
Person:
"Um... no?"
Paul:
"Its Madonna's hairdresser's dog!"
Interviewer: If
you couldn't be in a band, what would you do?
Paul: I'd be a farmer.
Paul: Dude, I never drink beer. Never.
Joel:
You just did.
Paul: Oh.
Random Girl: Paul come over here, I
want some lovin'!
Paul: You want some lovin'? What am I, Your Whore?!
"You don't have to be athletically inclined to write down basketball
scores."
"Do we even play music?"
"You're what? S-s-s-sorry?"
"If you ever make me do that again, I will punch you in the
face and make you bleed."
"I went from band member to extra like that. Story of my life."
"Practicing my moves!"
"Are
you sure you don't want Joel's autograph instead?"
"Billy drives like an old
grandma."
"Cash? He's a...um, a pit
bull?"
"Watch out I might have rabies!"
"You have beautiful handwriting..."
"How you doin' babygurl?"
"You
look familiar."
"Are you sure
you're not from Waldorf? I swear I've seen you so much before."
"I'm the bass
player. No one has a crush on the BASS player!"
"People always
ask me for a "Paul Hug"....what the heck is a "Paul Hug"?"
"I dropped an anvil on Benji."
"Don't get it wrong, we all hate their dad."
"St. Paul is not gay! He's very, very straight."
"I wasn't popular in school.
I liked to pretend I was, and I would go sit with the cool kids. Then they'd tell me to go fuck myself, and I would realize
what a loser I was."
"You know
what toy I wish I still had? Nintendo Techmo Super Bowl. I was the fat kid growning
up, and when you're the fat kid, you love video games. And Twinkies."
"I used to take piano lessons
when I was a kid. One time, I farted during a lesson, and my teacher never came back to my house."
"I met this girl once, she
was an awesome boxer. She always came out of fights clean. Then I found out that she wasn't exactly a girl..."
"This cute girl tripped me
in the hall back in high school, and everyone thought it was funny. So, the next day, I tripped her on her heels and I don't
know what happened to her. I think she died... I don't know."
"Barbies? No... I never played
with Barbie dolls..."
"Look, I know a crossdresser
when I see one." (About Justin Timberlake)